School days, school days....

School is over, for now, anyway.

I have just finished my fast-paced, four-week, 160-hour, remarkably-costly (and incredibly stressful) term at the Western Pacific Truck School in Stockton. I have a spiffy diploma (suitable for framing), a major financial burden and permanent diesel oil stains on my clothing to show for it.

There was no cap and gown ceremony. Instead, they handed each of us a packet of Mail Pouch chewing tobacco and then announced our graduation over the CB radio. (OK, I lied. Actually, they shook our hands and gave us each a ceramic coffee cup emblazoned with the school’s logo in blue. (In effect, a $4,500 coffee cup)

I learned a lot in four weeks. I now can double-clutch a semi truck while driving down busy city streets, can accurately name off over a hundred parts on a tractor-trailer and know more than anyone in my neighborhood about air brake system failure.

What I still don’t have in my hands is an actual Class “A” license. The DMV office in Modesto cancelled my test appointment with no explanation. I have been rescheduled for April 17^th, which is (at this time of writing) over two very long weeks away. I am quite frightened that I will forget all of the nuances of air and spring brake systems as well as the 90 degree alley docking maneuver (a skill that I never really fully mastered) before my appointment next month.

A separation between graduation dates and the DMV testing date is fairly common, and the school handles this problem by bringing the student back to the campus for a short refresher course (at no charge) a few days prior.

The time away from school will give me a chance to study up on some additional “endorsements” that I should have in order to make myself more marketable as an applicant. I will study “Double and Triples” (additional trailers), “Tankers” and “Haz Mat” (hazardous materials) in my time off before the test. I have study papers, some surreptitiously-obtained DMV test copies and (wouldn’t you know it) there’s even an app for that.

That future DMV test is my main worry. It is a far more rigorous test than the one someone would take just to drive a car. The first part is “pass-fail” and involves accurately showing off your knowledge of obscure air gauge readings. Get one answer wrong and they “fail” you; you cannot proceed. Ashamed and humiliated, you will be told to return 45 days later, presumably after you have remembered the subtle nuances involving an “applied” brake test and a “governor cut out” air pressure readings. If one can perform the brake test to the examiner’s satisfaction, then one is allowed to show off their knowledge in other areas.

The toughest part has to do with demonstrating low-speed skills; being able to back a tractor-trailer perfectly straight down the length of a football field (without knocking over any orange cones) over might seem impossible, but that is actually the easy part. Being able to perfectly parallel park a tractor trailer and do a 90 degree alley dock is enough to send big, burly men into tears. I hope that I don’t fail the test (as many others from our school have done recently). Students that are absolutely crestfallen and must now explain to their friends and families what happened.

Once I get the license, I will get to audition at a real trucking company and, even then, I will only get hired if I can also pass all of their tests at a form of “trucker boot camp”.  (Think: Army basic training but with fewer guns) And if I manage to make it through there, they will send me out on the road with a “trainer”.

That is where my real education will start.