How Lao Cai can a man be?

For many years, Vietnam had two-tier pricing. Foreigners were charged more for train and airline tickets and there was just no getting around it. This practice was eliminated a few years ago. However, buying items in the market is a different story. Paul Thoreux, in one of his many wonderful books, cited the old Chinese saying "You can always fool a foreigner". That saying holds true for Vietnam. I am often being charged double or triple the going price simply because I don't know any better.

When I have gone shopping with my friend Tin (in Hue) or Ha (here in HCMC), they have periodically come to my defense and dressed down a merchant who was ripping me off. There are several methods of handling the problem of being overcharged, amongst them is waiting until you know the real value of the item by watching all of the other tourists get snookered first. But how do you value a piece of artwork? It has no intrinsic value, it is worth only what someone will pay for it. Is that embroidered piece worth 200,000 dong? I have no idea. Sure, I know the "standard" bargaining techniques (start at 50% and be prepared to walk away) but who amongst us knows for sure?

Besides the conundrum of buying items with no fixed price, the small merchants simply cannot help themselves from getting in the way. If a shiny bit or bob catches your eye, the next thing you know someone is pulling out everything from the display and telling you the name for it in English ("You buy bracelet?"), just in case you were from Mars and had never before seen a piece of Chinese-made costume jewelry. This ham-fisted sales technique invariably has the effect of ruining my concentration and sending me scurrying from the shop.

Because I like to shop in peace, I often find myself in modern supermarkets. Clearly-marked fixed prices, decent lighting and always low prices appeal to me. I have stocked up on spices and kitchen tools in Saigon and Hanoi and have spent hours doing so. The bar-code scanner at checkout doesn't ever try to fool a foreigner.

Travelers in SE Asia are always on their guard. We have to be, as wandering peddlers are continually thrusting all sorts of useless treasures into your face, especially when you are trying to eat your breakfast or update your journal. (The last part does not apply to me. If I were to ever update a journal, then my crappy writing would surely reflect it).

Having someone interrupt your morning coffee in hopes of shining your sandals (do Tevas even need shining?) gets old after awhile, so pardon the fuck out of me if I appear a bit cranky. I know that you are just trying to survive on less money per year than I spend on shampoo in a week, but I don't need an anodized aluminum LED flashlight right now, I need my coffee.

And just when you are starting to mistrust everyone, you are astonished to find lovely bits of kindness and courtesy where you least expect it. People running up to you to return something that you have dropped. People proudly offering you food samples. People going out of their way to help guide the dumb foreigner, expecting nothing in return and smiling in gratitude just for the opportunity to help. Just like anywhere, most people are good people.

In Sapa, I had to argue with the hotel desk clerk because upon checkout he was going to charge me 50% less than I owed. He hadn't added up the bill correctly and wanted to charge me more than $30 too little. (There is no way in hell a trained manager can stomach that sort of mistake). The owner of the cafe where I frequented wanted my opinions on his new menu. I made him raise the liquor prices for the good imported Irish whiskey. ($2.05 was far too little.)

Just like every place in the world, there are both good and bad people. In the smaller towns where few foreigners (from the land of the jumbo) dare to tread, I was constantly pestered about my size. After I calmed down, I chalked it up to hillbillies being hillbillies no matter where you are. More often than not, I found courtesy and kindness in Vietnam of a kind mostly unknown where I am from. I love Vietnam.

Tomorrow, I start the long journey back. I encourage all of you to put Vietnam on your "short list" of places to visit. I also encourage you to check out some random snapshots that I took during my stay here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/joeehrlich/sets/72157594458315626/